PSA: The Wrong Relationship Will Make You Ugly
Being in the wrong relationship can literally make you ugly.
I’ve had so many conversations lately where women talk about how all they want is to “find a man.” But sis, the goal isn’t just to find a man. It’s to find the right relationship. A relationship that elevates you. That feels like true partnership. That makes your life better and lighter, not harder and heavier.
So much of the dating content out there focuses on tips, tricks, and psychological hacks to get a man. And honestly, a lot of it works. The problem? It works indiscriminately. You’ll get a man, alright. He might be amazing… or he might be trash.
There’s a trend I’ve seen on TikTok lately that illustrates this perfectly: women posting before-and-after videos of what they looked like in a toxic relationship vs. after they left. And let me tell you—the difference is shocking. Before? Dull skin, breakouts, damaged hair, low energy. After? Glowing, radiant, vibrant. You can literally see the weight lifted off their faces.
There’s even a term for this: “boyfriend air.” The idea that being in a relationship with the wrong man can affect your physical appearance—your skin, your hair, your energy. And there’s real truth to it.
Let’s talk about three ways being in a bad relationship can make you look and feel worse—physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
1. It Wrecks Your Physical Health
Toxic relationships are stressful. And chronic stress spikes your cortisol levels, which leads to poor sleep, increased heart rate, and changes in your appetite. When you’re not sleeping well, it shows, with dark circles, puffy skin, and sluggish energy.
Stress can also push you toward unhealthy coping mechanisms—junk food, alcohol, neglecting your workout or skincare routine. Maybe you stop doing your hair like you used to. Maybe your glowing skin becomes dull and patchy. All because you're pouring energy into a man who isn’t pouring back into you.
2. It Drains Your Mental and Emotional Energy
There’s a difference between clinical depression (which should absolutely be treated with the care it deserves) and the situational depression that comes from being around someone who drains your light.
When you're constantly being criticized, ignored, or undervalued, it chips away at your self-worth. Your posture slouches. Your energy dims. You start to believe you’re not worthy of more, and that affects how you show up in every space—from the office to your friendships to your mirror.
Let me be clear: confidence is magnetic. And you can’t be confident when you’re constantly walking on eggshells or pouring from an empty cup.
3. It Makes You Neglect Your Self-Care
One of the biggest signs you’re in a toxic relationship? You stop doing the things that made you feel like you.
Maybe you used to get regular facials, take your vitamins, go to Pilates, or invest in good skincare. And now? You’re giving that money—or that time and energy—to a man who doesn’t even notice. Or worse, you’re stuck in his crusty apartment using his 3-in-1 shampoo and sleeping on unwashed pillowcases. (No wonder your skin is breaking out.)
Let’s be real—when you’re constantly anxious or prioritizing someone else’s chaos, you don’t have the bandwidth to care for yourself. And that shows.
When you look better, you feel better. This doesn’t mean a full beat face and designer heels (unless you want to, of course). It means taking care of yourself because you’re worth it.
Last year, I went on a fitness and health journey. I lost 50 pounds, and I’ve kept it off—not just because of discipline, but because I fell in love with taking care of me. Even on the days I’m in workout clothes, makeup-free, and rocking a ponytail, I feel radiant. Why? Because I’m confident. I like myself. I take up space with ease now.
And let me say this: confidence is not just cute. It opens doors. It deepens relationships. It builds boundaries. It changes everything.
So yes—dusty men will make you ugly. But more importantly, they will keep you from being the radiant, thriving, whole version of yourself that God created you to be.
You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Don’t waste your pretty, or your peace, on anyone who doesn’t deserve it.
Ready to stop settling and start thriving in love?
Book a call with me today and let’s create a dating strategy that honors your worth, your standards, and your glow. https://calendly.com/keshiarice/cherished